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Published October 26, 2012

 

The University of Carolina at Chapel Hill has agreed upon a new title for “freshman” after it was deemed the newest grammatical faux pas because a few self-absorbed nitwits felt that it was too gender-specific.

UNC statement administrators sent out a reform declaring that the new gender inclusive language to describe “freshman” will be replaced with “Denied-by-Duke.”  A spokesperson from the admissions office stated that Denied-by-Duke is gender-neutral, politically correct and truly fitting, since this year’s incoming Denied-by-Duke class were either flat-out denied by Duke University or were put on hold.

Other names that were on the table, “Wished-for-Wake” and “Not-Cool-Enough-For-State.”

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