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October 26, 2017
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Halloween can be a lot of fun (if you’re a child or drunk) but there’s a group that doesn’t think it’s so great. That group is called vampires and they are very real and so are their reasons for hating Halloween (of which there are eleven).

Halloween can be a lot of fun (if you’re a child or drunk) but there’s a group that doesn’t think it’s so great. That group is called vampires and they are very real and so are their reasons for hating Halloween (of which there are eleven).

  • They hate the pressure to dress sexy
  • It’s supposed to be a time of self reflection
  • Would rather Netflix and kill
  • The price of capes goes through the roof
  • Their culture isn’t a costume
  • Crappy “fun size” arteries
  • It’s a lot harder to find virgin blood the day after
  • Mom makes the whole family go to church
  • Don’t show up in the squad mirror selfies
  • Started feeling too old to participate over 300 years ago
  • It’s on a Tuesday this year
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