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Published August 16, 2008

Cardmember:  Fat Bastard

Member Since:  Today

Occupation:  Ass Sniffer

Proudest Accomplishment:  Kicking Johnny Jackass’s Ass

Perfect Day:  Shittin’ a Big Friggin' Turd

Most Unusual Gift:  Colon Detox

Recent Impulse Buy:  Farrah Fawcett Poster for my Doghouse

Retail Therapy:  Victoria’s Secret Cheekies

Can’t Shop Without:  Farting

My Card:  Buys me Cuban Cigars, Fat Bastard Wine and a Diablo Cody Lap Dance

BUDDY “FAT BASTARD” IS A CARDMEMBER…

Why the hell aren’t you? Visit americanexpress.com to join or he’ll kick your ass

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