or

After Brandon Phillips rips a line drive to short, umpire Brad Meyer rushes to get himself (and especially his private parts) out of the way, but instead does just the opposite.  And although it looks like just the sort of thing that would kill a man, Myers eventually gets up and leaves the field, probably after vomiting up a testicle or both.

Lesson Learned: Never let anyone tell you baseball isn't a full contact sport.

gifs via deadspin

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