1. Starting my first restaurant
There will be a time when there are no more civilized people left in this world except the walking dead... and possibly Pauly Shore, because let's face it, no one would eat him. The poor little zombies will go hungry sooner or later and your selfish ass couldn't plump yourself up enough to provide them with a good hearty meal. Now not only am I having to take things in a different direction, I'll have to do it for free because zombies don't have money. Fortunately, I'll be able to use any building I want, which will probably be my ex in-laws' house just for kicks. I'm calling my new restaurant "Cats and Dogs Are Okay Now". I think it's obvious what we'll be serving, but I had no idea Pauly already ate cats and dogs, so kudos for that.
2. Finding a place to live
This will be easy because I can live anywhere as long as there aren't too many bodies to drag out. Of course I've really already figured this out. I'm going to stay in Heff's Playboy mansion. He'll be in cryostasis so he won't mind. Besides, he's got a machine in the basement that manufactures brand new playboy bunnies with big boobies. Oddly enough they're already pre-programed to hate Pauly Shore.
3. How am I going to get laid?
Just a little more difficult than finding a place to live, but contrary to popular belief, I will not be opening a whorehouse called "Cats and Dogs Are Okay Now". I'm going to either be gay for Pauly, or choose to do the horizontal Zombo with my dead little bags of flesh... I think I'll go with the zombies. So how do we go about this? Getting close will probably get me eaten or worse, castrated. I have to find some way to either tie them down or hack of the lower torso and just have my way with it while I diddle the inner waist area. On the bright side, the law of rape will be rendered obsolete.
4. Becoming the ultimate gamer
With no competition in the gaming world, I'll be king of the world, if only for a little while. Since zombies either chew in the controllers or try to eat the people in the games, I'll eventually run out of entertainment equipment, including Playboy bunnies ( I'll probably wear those out with minimal help from the zombies). The good news is I win every race at Mario Kart... finally.
5. The worlds largest drug dealer
Again, I won't be getting paid, but since I can just jack everything ever made, money won't be such a huge deal. It's always good getting high with your dead friends, especially the ones that don't keep talking about weezing the juice. Do you have any idea how funny it is listening to zombie moans while you blow smoke in their faces? Not all drugs work on the zombies though. Cocaine is a little useless because they don't breathe. No heroin because of the coagulated blood; but Pot-people brownies are hilariously good. I really wish I cooked them now because I just ate half the batch.
There are so many more things I plan to do when everybody is dead except me. Hell I might even try having sex with animals... What? Screw you, you're dead and there's no one around to judge me, I'll do what I want. Now that I think about it for a minute, I'm seriously considering it. Maybe I'll lead some zombies over to a bear or something. I'll be the first person in the world besides Chuck Norris to fk a bear. Of course it'll be dead, so I'll have to change the Guiness book rules a little; but that'll be no sweat compared to how long it'll take to abolish the FCC. They apparently have lasers mounted to their headquarters.