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May 19, 2011

Helping me help you.

I feel bad when I see the flyers that get posted by people looking for a lost dog. I really do.

But if you want my help finding your lost dog, you gotta make the flyer believable. Don't lie to me.

I saw one the other day that said, "Lost Dog. Pit Bull. Black with white spots. Very friendly."

Oh, really? You want me to help you find ‘Fluffy the Pit Bull’? If you really want me to help you find your Pit Bull, you need to put up the God’s honest truth and try to scare me into it. I need to see, "Lost Pit Bull. Mean as Fuck. Black with white spots. Responds to the name ‘Psycho’. Last seen with bloody child’s arm clenched in jaws. Help me find him or your kid will be next.”

I see that, I grab my pitchfork and pepper spray and I join the search.