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Published June 14, 2011
JUNE 15, 2011- NAACP Chairman Roslyn M. Brock issued a press release this afternoon letting all ugly black people know that they'll no longer be needing their help. 

In the press release, Mrs. Brock stresses that ugly black people, though well meaning, do very little to advance the image of African Americans. Brock claims that after years of pressure from the board of directors, she has no choice but to bar ugly black people from the NAACP. "Now that our president and first lady are both shining examples of just how attractive black people can be, it would really tarnish our people's image to continue to allow ugly black people to represent us." said Brock. 

Brock added, "As a young child I knew that there was no greater calling than to protect and fight for the civil rights of my fellow African Americans. That is why we cannot allow ugly black people to hurt our chances of equality with their gross faces and stupid bodies." In addition to barring new ugly black people from joining the NAACP, 4,597 current ugly members have been kicked out. Brock commented, "It wasn't easy telling some of our loyal members that they had to leave the NAACP. However, we're confident that most of them fully understand that their frumpy, unpleasant appearance was jeopardizing the cause's sexy potential."

Additionally, the esteemed board of directors have been fired and will be replaced by hot black actors. Mrs. Brock will now be joined by the new board of directors: Shemar Moore, Gabrielle Union, Djimon Hounsou, Angela Bassett, and Sisqo. Finally, Brock announced that the NAACP will be changing its name to the NAACH: The National Association for the Advancement of Colored Hotties. Brock stated, "This marks a proud new era for the black people of our nation, no longer shall we be oppressed by the ugly black man."

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