Pittsburgh Steelers linebacker James Harrison caused a bit of a stir this weekend when he posted an Instagram photo of his sons’ trophies with a caption voicing a parental concern. No, they didn’t win awards for being the most popular kids in school because their dad is an NFL player. In fact, the issue is that they didn’t win anything. The trophies were given to all participants in the boys’ sports league. And that ticked Harrison off.
Harrison returned the participation awards and, as you can see from the caption, he doesn’t want his sons to “believe that they are entitled to something just because they tried their best…cause sometimes your best is not enough.”
Even if you disagree with Harrison’s approach to parenting, let’s focus on what really matters here: there are two unclaimed trophies out there and with minimal effort they can be yours! The only thing that will piss Harrison off more than someone receiving an award for only participating would be someone receiving a participation award without even participating.
So, here is how to go about getting them. Ideally you live in the greater Pittsburgh area if not in the city limits, so as to expend as little effort possible in claiming these trophies you 100% do not deserve. The name of the organization on the plaques is “Next Level Athletics” and by googling that plus “Pittsburgh”, you are brought to the Best of the Batch Next Level Athletics Track and Field Club page.
The site’s header boasts that 25 out of 52 of their athletes will be advancing to the
49th USATF National Junior Olympic Track & Field Championships in Jacksonville, Florida July 27 - August 2. This event has already passed, and the organization is probably taking a quick breather after this big event and before launching into the fall season. This is the perfect time to stroll into the almost empty office and snag those participation trophies that are likely in a bin just behind the front desk.
The main office for Best of the Batch is located here:
2000 West Street
Munhall, PA 15120
Of course, go during open hours and respectfully make up some white lie about misplacing your original trophy and so did your BFF that’s why you need two extra of them. Be sure to wear overalls and a backpack to give off a a kid-vibe. Whatever intern is behind the desk is for sure just gonna hand them over because it says 2015 on them and they won’t be any good in a few months. Then voila, buster! You snagged yourself a participation trophy without having to do shit!
Then head to the Wendy’s down the street, which we conveniently mapped out how to get to below. Don’t worry, we wouldn’t have had you look it up yourself! It’s time to celebrate all the work you didn’t do in this children’s track league! If James Harrison doesn’t want his sons to be recognized for their participation, you have every right to steal what should rightly be theirs! Congrats!