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September 29, 2015
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The MacArthur Foundation announced the 24 recipients of their annual Genius Grant. They also announced a list of the losers who definitely are not geniuses.

The MacArthur Foundation announced this year’s 24 recipients of their annual ‘Genius’ award, a $625,000 cash prize to support their continued work “shedding light and making progress on critical issues, pushing the boundaries of their fields, and improving our world in imaginative, unexpected ways.” One such winner:

Ta-Nehisi Coates, 39, “a journalist, blogger, and memoirist who brings personal reflection and historical scholarship to bear on America’s most contested issues.”

Of course, while there are 24 winners of the award, the MacArthur Foundation also makes sure to list individuals who definitely did not win the ‘Genius’ grant:


2015 List Of MacArthur Non-Genius Losers

Sam Paul, 42, fell down an “up” escalator for 45 whole seconds.

Kimberly Dart Michaels, 40, changed her middle name to “Dart” on a dare.

Shannon Dennis, 32, found piece of popcorn on couch, not sure if it was from today’s snack or one from earlier this week, decided to eat it either way.

Quinnton Reardon, 41, made a bunch of weird lamps out of garbage he found on the street.

Martin Migas, 38, used loyalty punch card to get a large specialty drink with an extra shot instead of just regular order of the cheapest coffee.

Jason Abramowitz, 14, fingered girlfriend while watching San Andreas in a crowded cinema.

Barbara Corbis, 59, crushed the Nae Nae dance at her son’s wedding, putting even the younger cousins to shame with her stanky leg.

Ryan Thompson, 22, got retweeted by Seth McFarland.

Tasha Richardson, 35, had a pretty good idea for a Die Hard-type movie one time.

Dr. William Finschon, 43, currently researching new ways to make semen taste different in private lab.

Tyler Deitz, 15, attached a dryer sheet to the end of a cardboard toilet paper roll and exhaled gravity-bong rips into it to minimize the smell. To date, his parents don’t fucking know shit.

Josh Lucas, 44, a non-famous working actor with a pretty good career doing the voiceover for Home Depot commercials.

Scott Von Grunau, 54, social anthropologist at Washington University in St. Louis, known for deconstructing the narratives of people who feel the need to put every single available condiment on their burgers.

Ana Moreno, 26, only smokes when she is drunk, therefore she can say without doubt that she is not a smoker.

Belinda Taft, 43, enters in all of her produce as “bananas” in the self checkout line at the grocery store, which greatly reduces the overall price of her purchase.

W00dz, 39, electronic DJ who finally gave up his hopeless dream to take a job at his dad’s box factory in order to actually provide for his family

Marquita Lewis, 31, has successfully blamed every single one of her farts on other people or dogs.

The Funny Or Die creative team, 22-30something (probably), a group of people whose only wish is to make you laugh with their content, and also they have another wish to make money, and another wish to work somewhere else eventually.

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