Sometimes news is exciting. A lot of times it’s mundane. Every once in awhile it’s such a long time coming, when it’s reported on, you can only respond “no, duh.” We got a few of those “no, duh” news items this week, baby.
Greedy Asshole Who Values Money Above All Else Did Something Illegal To Make Money
Pharmaceutical nightmare boy, Martin Shkreli, the kiddo who jacked up AIDS medication prices 5,500%, was arrested on fraudulent charges this morning. Yeah, something about a dude who actively makes medicine that saves people’s lives difficult to get screams, “I’m a shady motherfucker, I’m probably guilty of fraud.” No, duh.
Political Megalomaniac Likes Style Of Other Political Megalomaniac
Vlad “the Bad"Putin announced today that he thinks Donald Trump is bright and talented.” Whoa! Two egomaniac sociopaths thinking highly of one another! Erhm, no duh! (That being said, here is to praying Trump never rides a horse without a shirt on.)
Polluting The Air Has Made Fresh Air A Scarce Commodity That Those Without Will Pay For
Our world has become polluted to a point where Canada is selling China bottles of fresh air! And only for $25 a pop! With the way we’ve been treating mama Gaia, like it’s a shit hole asking for more shit, this one is also a big ol’ no, duh! situation!
Little Shit Is A Little Shit
Another lil shitbag, Ethan Couch, the kid who got out of killing four people because of a made up thing called “affluenza” is on the run from cops. He didn’t check in with his patrol officer. Wait, you’re telling us a kid who got away with manslaughter on the terms that he was too bratty, isn’t complying with the law? That’s a strong “no, duh!” from us. Unless of course he has passed away from untreated affluenza, in which case, it’s not a “no, duh!” but a “great!”