The typically austere Guggenheim museum was the setting of a frenzy this afternoon as pop culture blunderbuss Paris Hilton was spotted by a paparazzo while browsing the Thannhauser collection with, as one patron put it, "An overwhelming number of silly, little dogs."
While observing one the Van Gogh's in the collection, she remarked to one of her dogs that, "The mundane nature of his subjects stands in stark contrast to the complexity of his technique and the courage of his palette."
Shortly thereafter, she was spotted by a photographer who was prowling the museum circuit for as he put it, "High end muff shots." A crowd began to form and Paris, careful to protect her image, immediately smeared cocaine on her lips, discarded her underwear, and began asking questions to her iPhone at full volume.
After fleeing the museum just ahead of the throng of fans, Paris hailed a cab an instructed the driver to, "Take me to Philadelphia. I do prefer Barnes' taste in Van Gogh over Thannhauser' s." When reached for comment, her publicist exclaimed, "These allegations are ridiculous... Paris can't even spell 'Guggenheim.' In fact, right now she's at A-Rod's penthouse banging rails off of his abs and trying to convince his girlfriend to have a three-way."
We'll have more on the impending three-way as the video is posted all over everything, everywhere, soon.