FEB. 1, 2012
Presidential candidate Newt Gingrich is being sued for using the song “Eye of the Tiger” at his political rallies.
Gingrich says that he’s sorry but it’s the only chance he’ll ever get to use the song, as there will never be a montage of him working out.
Newt has been a big fan of tigers ever since he read that tiger-themed cookbook “Life of Pie”.
Studies estimate that the average spending on Valentine’s Day in the U.S. will rise this year 8% to nearly 200 dollars.
But on the upside, that’s nearly 200 dollars worth of cat food!
A dentist in Boston was accused of substituting paper clips for stainless steel posts when working on his patients’ root canals.
To make things a million times more annoying, he did it with the help of this paper clip.
A pastor in Annandale, Virgina is spearheading a weight-loss challenge for his congregation, claiming that people losing weight is what God wants.
Dietary supplements for his plan include the religious favorite, “I Believe It’s Not Butter”.
Prince William and Kate Middleton, the Duke and Duchess of Cambridge, revealed recently that they are the proud owners of a cocker spaniel.
They royal pooch is probably the only dog in the world that will have a worse life when it goes to doggy heaven.
The Washington state Senate is expected to vote in favor of legalizing gay marriage.
It’s in Washington State this time, not Washington D.C., where it is already legal for closeted straight men to cheat on their gay husbands.
The vote is also expected to give an entirely new meaning to the term “Washington insider”.
(Before we get our panties in a twist and I need to address your preferred brand of panty, let’s not forget that I’m just making jokes here. I’m all for this – I’m all for tolerance and equality and people loving whoever they want to love. You can probably guess that from my rather liberal-leaning body of work. It’s exciting that Washington is the next state to jump on board with this, and let’s not stop endorsing this until everyone, everywhere can get married. I’m hoping this is not a super necessary disclaimer but you never know how people are going to respond online)
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