As if God herself listened to all of our collective prayers, Donald Trump will not be attending the Republican debate this Thursday. But something for sure got lost in translation, because the reason Trump isn’t attending is because Megyn Kelly will be moderating it.

An adult man running for the highest office in our nation is throwing a temper tantrum because a woman he doesn’t like hurt his feelings. This is going to go over great when he has to meet with, oh I don’t know, everybody the president is required to meet with despite their personal feelings about them.

Normally press releases are boring, but take a look at The Donald explain The Donald in The Donald’s own words:

(New York, NY) January 26th, 2016 - As someone who wrote one of the best-selling business books of all time, The Art of the Deal, who has built an incredible company, including some of the most valuable and iconic assets in the world, and as someone who has a personal net worth of many billions of dollars, Mr. Trump knows a bad deal when he sees one. FOX News is making tens of millions of dollars on debates, and setting ratings records (the highest in history), where as in previous years they were low-rated afterthoughts.

Unlike the very stupid, highly incompetent people running our country into the ground, Mr. Trump knows when to walk away. Roger Ailes and FOX News think they can toy with him, but Mr. Trump doesn’t play games. There have already been six debates, and according to all online debate polls including Drudge, Slate, Time Magazine, and many others, Mr. Trump has won all of them, in particular the last one. Whereas he has always been a job creator and not a debater, he nevertheless truly enjoys the debating process - and it has been very good for him, both in polls and popularity.

He will not be participating in the FOX News debate and will instead host an event in Iowa to raise money for the Veterans and Wounded Warriors, who have been treated so horribly by our all talk, no action politicians. Like running for office as an extremely successful person, this takes guts and it is the kind of mentality our country needs in order to Make America Great Again.

— Via www.donaldtrump.com

There you have it. _Not doing the thing you don’t want to do takes guts! _And here we thought it was cowardly!

Well, since Trump will be taking the night off and because everyone else will be at the debate, he’ll have his schedule wide open. Here are some things he can get into:

8 Debate Alternatives For Trump

  • Make a homemade dinner with the only immigrant he loves, his wife Melania.
  • Get a haircut.
  • Have one of his staffers work out on an elliptical machine and take the credit for it. “I was really gross and sweaty, I swear.”
  • Read Kanye’s tweets to Wiz Khalifa from earlier today.
  • Claim he is a better rapper than both men.
  • Blog.
  • Create a burn book for Megyn Kelly.
  • Start on that wall.
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