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March 31, 2008


I got this dude that sits beside me at work. He is the most irritating person I can think of. He has all of these sound effects that he does throughout the work day. I believe that the guy that does the score for Star Wars is doing it. Or it might even be After Effects. But any who, he burps, sneezes, coughs, blow his nose, and any other disgusting thing that I can't think of right now. After blowing his nose, at his desk, he has to examine the mucus and snots that has just left his head. He looks at it for about 2 minutes making sure his brains are still in his head. Then he grunts and puts the snot paper towel back inside of his pants pocket. That is right, A paper towel. I asked him before if he could blow his nose in the restroom, but he decided that it is too far to travel for some smooth, soft tissue paper. That is also the same paper towel that he wipes his mouth with and the pulse and blood that is on his arm. Did I mention that he picked at those all day? And no, he doesn't wash his hands anytime, but wants to touch any and everything. After he plays Hacky-sac, he walks past the restroom and comes to his desk and grace us with the loves tranquil sounds of juicy wet lung butter mixed with throat hauk. Ooo, that is so sweet to the eardrums. I would like to pinch his larynx. I will have to add the paper towel that he left on his key board for a week and used it again when he returned to work.