I once played a parlor game called, 'If you could kill anyone in this room, who would it be?' Shortly after that I got divorced.
Later that night as we were getting ready for bed my husband said he didn’t think I loved him anymore. 'They said, if you could kill someone, not if you had to kill someone, you didn't even have to pick anyone,' he whined.
God! He’s hanging onto this stupid moment in this stupid game we played.
‘Babe! Look at what my choices were! My best girlfriend? No. My boss’s neighbor? Right, that’s, like, the quickest way to get fired. Then there was our host, that would just be rude…’
My husband cut me off –
‘What about Tim?! Your ex-boyfriend. He was there. He was a dick! He fucking beat you for Christ’s sake! He stole your credit cards, charged eighteen thousand dollars and then ran off with your best friend!’
(note: this is not my best friend now or I might have picked her )
‘Okay, you know what? You’re being really insecure right now. First off, Tim is no longer with Trish, he admits that was a mistake, and lastly, fraud can't be punished with a death sentence, babe, that would be ridiculous! That would be totally unreasonable!! Am I right?’
He sulked. He admitted I was right.
But he still filed for divorce.
You can’t live with them, you can’t say you’d kill them.