EVERY "99 PROBLEMS" JOKE

In 2004, musician Jay-Z (father to Blue Ivy Carter) wrote a song that took the world by storm. "99 Problems" has provided the world with endless enterainment and joy in the 8 years ensuing, and has become the most satirized song, ever, probably. Let's not stop this anytime soon. It is far too much fun. However, for the time being I've decided to compile a list. Here are "99 Problems" puns that I've done over the year. Please contribute by commenting in the comments section or hitting me up on Twitter - I always pay credit where credit is due by liking or retweeting or favoriting or whatever.  The pun enthusiasts of the world need you, and we need to raise awarenss about the "99 Problems" facing today's world so our children might grow up in a world that has significantly less than 99 of those problems. Thanks and have a magnificent day. 

Mine(ty-mine problems): 

"If you're having coral problems, I feel bad for you son, I got 99 problems, but a fish ain't one." 

"We all 99 percent, but the rich is one.”

"If you're having plural problems, I feel bad for you son, I only have one problem. A bitch it is not." 

"I got 9, 9, 9 problems, but a bitch ain't one." - Herman Cain 

Just watched "Jay-Z Stupid Love". I really liked that heartwarming scene when the family collectively came to terms with their 99 problems.

“If you’re having Quaffle problems, I feel bad for you Ron, I got 99 problems but a Snitch ain’t one.” – Harry Potter

“I got XCIX problems, but a shiv ain’t one.” – J-Caes

“I got 99 problems, but a bitch ehhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhn’t one.” – Fon-Z

“If you’re having girdle problems, I feel bad for you son, I got 99 problems but a britch ain’t one.”

“Houston, we have 99 problems. But a bitch isn’t one.”  

“I’ve goot 99 problems, but health care isn’t one of them, eh?” – Jay-Zed

“If you’re having mural problems, I feel bad for you son, I got 99 problems but da Vinc ain’t one.”

“I got 99 problems but the heat ain’t one.” – A/C

“If you’re having girl problems, I feel bad for you Pam, I got 99 problems but a Schrute ain’t one.” – J-Krasinski

“I got 99 problems and being a ghost is one.” – Swa-Z 

Yours: 

Drop them in the comments! Or hit me up on Twitter HERE.