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41Funny
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2,537
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August 29, 2017
Published
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But seriously call your mom today.

Mom’s calling again, but you’re not going to pick up. No need to feel guilty, you’ve got your reasons.


“It’s what she really wants; to hear my voice for 11 seconds and then to speak uninterrupted for 3 minutes.”

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“She’s been dead for 8 years.”

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“I have to be at work in 5 hours.”

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“‘Cause I’m still not married. Sorry…”

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“I owe her $200 for going over our text plan in high school.”

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“Want her to think I’m out with friends.”

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“Hanging out with my side-mom.”

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“I’m a grown man and have my own opinions about this week’s People Magazine.”

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“If she wants to talk, she should come to the basement and do it in person.”

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“Venmo is my preferred way of communicating with her.”

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“Because I’ve already explained to her that ‘Grace and Frankie’ has a finite number of episodes available to watch.”

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“I already know about Kohl’s.”

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