Full Credits

Stats & Data

July 23, 2010


Hello boys and girls,

I have returned from Vegas with empty pockets, a full stomach, and all the shame that comes with being 30. I know there are probably a handful of you out there who don't think 30 is that old, but in caveman times, this was the life expectancy of the average male. So, millions of years ago, I'd be dead right now. A thought like that definitely makes you assess your life and realize what you could have done better. And after much consideration, I have determined that I am fucking perfect, and the only thing missing from my life is more of it. Yup, it's good to be me. Jealous much?

I've also enjoyed sifting through the recent "haikus." I put it in quotes for one simple reason: Although I am thrilled to see that many of my new friends have joined in the haiku contest fun, I am afraid that some of you either don't know what a haiku is or have to work on your counting skills.

The fun of this contest isn't just being hilarious - it's being hilarious while doing math! Five syllables, then 7, then 5. So, of the eligible submissions, here are your winners.

Bronze Diaper: mpg79

"Allstate Insurance"
"Hello, our house is on fire
and my diaper's full"

Silver Underroos: phunnyphilly

I think my wife wants
to kill me officer! Please,
send help and bring pants.

Golden Shower Depends: lchronic

I did number two.
You want to sixty-nine me?
I got baby wipes...

Nicely done, all.  If you enjoyed playing, here's a new pic for you budding poets of wit.