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July 09, 2012

Tom Cruise has revealed the real reason for his recent split from Katie Holmes: her "crazy Catholic religion".

Tom Cruise has revealed the real reason for his recent split from Katie Holmes: her "crazy Catholic religion."

"I wanted to make it work," the Mission: Impossible star said in a press conference today. "But then she’d try to convince me that an invisible man in the sky was watching my every move. Ridiculous stuff like that."

Cruise says he was also concerned for the couple's six-year-old daughter, Suri. "Katie wanted to have some sort of ‘holy man’ sprinkle water on her,” the actor said, adding, "You can't eradicate body thetans with water."

Contradicting Holmes' belief that God alone created the world, Cruise explained his own convictions regarding creation.

"Our souls were preserved in alcohol and brought here 75 million years by Xenu, ruler of the Galactic Confederacy. We were then released via hydrogen bombs placed in volcanoes."

"But a man dying and coming back to life?" Cruise continued incredulously. "Come on, get out of here with that science fiction garbage."