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Published March 14, 2013

 

I have penis envy.  I'm starved for erection.  I want a boner.  Just for one day.  Yes, an erection lasting longer than 4 hours, cause when I'm done, I'll just throw it away.  They should sell disposable ones at Home Depot in the testoolsterone aisle.  If I had a boner, I'd hammer in the mornin, in the evenin, all over this land, or at least check some chores off my I-have-no honey-to-do list.

 

 

If I had a boner, he'd be polite and never shove himself to the back.  What is up with that anyway?   Maybe the boners I've had were just extra large or my mouths too short, but guys, if she's gaggin and choking, somebody's not enjoying themselves as much as they could be.  Just sayin, breathing is vital to a good blow job and sustains life, which is also vital to a good blow job cause dead just lies there (I mean, I imagine they do).  You know you've gone too far when her nose and eyes are runnin.  You think she's cryin cause she's overwhelmed with lust?  She's suffocating, you idiot.  That flailing isn't a signal to shove her head down further.

 

 

Obviously the Chinese get it.  Seriously, can you imagine shoving your vagina down some guys throat?  What the fuck?  Why are all good boners attached to only a few good men? My boner and me would play hide and seek with Gina.

 

 

For entertainment purposes I'd name him, "'Bubbles," enhance him with a tutu and teach him to play the click clack (Kellie says Bob plays his).  He'd do a lengthening and widening exercise video with Richard Simmons cause somethin about him makes me think he needs it.   I think it's his fro, or it could be that dress. What the fuck?

 

 

 

Never mind, he's as envious as me and so is his butt.  I'll just pump it up.

 

 

 

Second thought, I don't need another dork in jail.  My boner would be a star tho.  He'd go on Broadway, perform in Cats, then to the Vanity Fair Boner Party and bitch slap Hef.  Wouldn't it be fuckin awesome to see Hef get slapped in the face by a big dick in a tutu?  I think so.  Then Oprah would wanna interview him, but he'd just be cocky and find out if she swallows.   I'll bet she doesn't.  At the end of the day, he'll disclose he wants to rock, but is too ridged to rap.  A-HA!!!!

 

 

 

@copyright donna maysack 2013

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