TO: WHITE HOUSE PHYSICIAN
SUBJECT: TAKE THE PRESIDENTIAL COGNITIVE HEALTH POLL
Hello Dr. Ronny,
Thank you for using this COGNITIVE POLL to get the REAL cognitive fitness numbers of our very smart President Trump that the fake news media isn’t reporting.
1) How would you rate President Trump’s cognitive health?
2) In a smarts contest between President Trump and Albert Einstein, who would win?
3) Despite having high cholesterol and ab obese body mass index, would you say that President Trump’s physical health was excellent?
YES, VERY EXCELLENT
4) How would you rate Barack Obama’s cognitive health?
5) Is President’ Trump’s erratic behavior the result of neurological impairment?
THERE IS NO ERRATIC BEHAVIOR
THERE IS NO NEUROLOGICAL IMPAIRMENT
THERE IS NO BEHAVIOR/IMPAIRMENT
6) Is President Trump a physician certified STABLE GENIUS?
7) Do you believe the FAKE NEWS MEDIA will fairly cover President Trump’s GREAT mental health and the FACT that a DOCTOR certified him a STABLE GENIUS?
YES, BUT BY MISTAKE
NO, EXCEPT FOX NEWS
WAIT, I FORGET, IS FOX NEWS STILL A PART OF THE “NEWS MEDIA” OR ARE THEY OFFICIALLY THEIR OWN CATEGORY OF THING NOW?
8) Even if, hypothetically, Trump was neurologically impaired and showing signs of diminished cognitive function associated with dementia, don’t you think that as a man he is still showing way better judgment than CROOKED HILLARY would have shown during the time of month when she would be bleeding out of her wherever?
BIG LEAGUE YES
AS A DOCTOR I FEEL AN URGE TO POINT OUT THAT AS A 70 YEAR OLD WOMAN HILLARY CLINTON WAS POSTMENOPAUSAL, BUT STILL YES
9) It’s no secret that the media served as sycophantic cheerleaders for everything that Obama did. Now they’re going to blanket the airwaves with left-leaning, biased reports saying that President Trump isn’t mentally fit for office.
THIS ONE IS NOT A QUESTION
10) Were you coerced to give the answers you gave for this REAL and NOT FAKE cognitive exam?
The President appreciates you being a TOP SUPPORTER of our President.