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September 06, 2017
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A satirical article about Game of Thrones.

After receiving a healthy dose of criticism for the breakneck pace of Season 7, Game of Thrones show-runners David Benioff and D.B. Weiss told reporters on Wednesday that they were mulling over potential space storylines for next year’s final season to dive even deeper into the possibilities of time travel, teleportation and relativity.

“We heard you loud and clear, and we are going to lean even further into it,” the masterminds behind HBO’s biggest TV hit articulated to a large group of fanboys and entertainment journalists. “Without the books by our side, we have the ability to go even further… we’ve literally built this world from the ground up, so why not experiment with other worlds, other systems of living, other everything? It’s fantasy - anything goes!”

This past season drew lots of criticism from fans, many of whom noted that the season felt rushed, and that many characters were able to travel across Westeros in impossibly short amounts of times, given the continuity of the show. Weiss and Benioff had no response for this, instead insisting that the show is building to a “great climax,” which now might be “on Neptune, if we get the budget.”

“We’ve seen shows like Westworld and American Gods shake things up across the fantasy genre - just because we’ve shook it up before, why not keep shaking it?” Weiss posited. “The fans don’t want to feel rushed, so if we make timing unpredictable and get even more laissez-faire about how folks travel across lands and planets, who can discredit that?”

At press time, the two writers were considering sending their forthcoming HBO slavery drama Confederate to space as well, to potentially distract from its controversial themes.

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