Just in time for President’s Day, scandalous new entries revealed from the Eleanor Roosevelt diaries:
I do wish there a program where young American would-be idols could display their talents. Perhaps one day…
Workshopping my new performance art piece, The Baker’s Wife. Heinz feels I could go heavier on the butter.
Considering adopting a boy and naming him Carlton Publican Roosevelt. Then he could go by CPR.
Every First Lady has a special issue or cause of her own. For me, I always knew it had to be pancakes.
Lunch with Gertrude Stein. She got a burger in a bun with a burger on a bun and cheese in a bun on a burger.
Slipped away with Cordell to a jazz club. ‘Shimmied’ the night away to a mulatto songstress. So stimulating!
I’ve often tried to find a new one, but Frosted Strawberry will always be my favorite Pop Tarts flavor.
Spoke to Macy’s again. They still refuse to do a giant balloon in my image for the Thanksgiving parade.
Achieved a personal best today of 83 table push-ups without resting. Plus twenty crunches.
Saw the The Wizard of Oz again. Love that Toto. Now if they’d just remake it with a star-studded Negro cast.
Complimented on my new hat by Coco Chanel. Should never have given up on that modeling career.
To make a President’s Day diorama, start by shaping wet maple oatmeal into the shape of Lincoln’s torso.
If you thought this diary was unbelievable, check out Space Command and the Planets of Doom: http://amzn.to/atEZo9