Do you suffer from erectile dysfunction?
Do you get far too many erections? Do you find it hard to get through the day without them? Do you crave erections every waking moment? Are they negatively affecting your life? Your sanity? Your health? Have you ever considered that it might be possible to live without them?
Why not try new Bone-Be-Gone?!
Bone-Be-Gone patches use the latest in mind control technology to destroy your life-wrecking erection addiction. Simply place one patch on each testicle, and wait for that insatiable craving to melt away.
Don't believe us? Then just listen to what Barry from Swindon had to say …
"Two weeks ago, I was a mess. I couldn't sit down for five minutes without popping outside for a quick erection. Going to work was a nightmare. The boss said that my erections were starting to get in the way of my fork-lift truck driving. Enough was enough! I decided to start using new Bone-Be-Gone patches. What a miracle! I've been erection-free for a fortnight now, and I've never looked back!"
Still not convinced? Why not ask Frank from Dublin?
"I couldn't have been in worse shape. A few months ago I was on twenty to forty erections a day. I'd have an erection first thing in the morning, an erection before and after each meal, and an extra long erection at bedtime. Bone-Be-Gone patches changed all that. Wild horses couldn't get my old fella' to stand to attention these days. Thank you, Bone-Be-Gone!"
And finally, lets hear the opinion of Jenny, from Glasgow …
"My husband, Ken, was a self-confessed addict. No sooner had he gotten rid of one erection, then he'd be busy cooking up another. His blood pressure was through the roof! Our social life was a wreck! Our friends stopped visiting, complaining that Ken's haphazard erections could endanger the lives of their unborn children! It was at that point that I started to secretly apply new Bone-Be-Gone patches … during the night … or whenever he wasn't paying attention. Two weeks later, he's a new man. His life-threatening erections are a thing of the past. God bless you, Bone-Be-Gone! If only it was this easy to stop smoking …"
So what are you waiting for? Readjust your pants, hobble over to the phone, and dial 111-1111 for your free information pack.
You'll get your life back, when you're on the slack ...
Side effects may include nausea, hair loss, poverty, and instantaneous death.