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Published April 09, 2009
Today is a day that is like any other day.  The sun is around somewhere, shootin beams down at us from a bajillion miles away (I'm not 100% on those measurements, but I know I'm close) and the trees have yet to stick it to the man (or man in general) and stop producing oxygen.  What makes this day better than the rest?  Nothing to be honest, but I figured what would make a better intro than to set up this blog as if I were writing about the greatest day known to me.

Had I started by merely saying, "today I woke up and had some cereal," who would care?  Perhaps the Kelloggs people would, in the same way Neilsen's people care about what a couple million people are watching on TV, want to know what I'm eating.  For the record, it was the last of the Golden Grahams, which are really quite tasty.  I don't think they're done by Kelloggs though...they're General Mills aren't they?  Well, I guess Kelloggs has something to deal with now don't they?  Just follow your nose and you'll find that maybe not everything is Snap, Crackle, poppin' down at the ol' Kelloggs plant.  Or maybe things are just fine, I'm just saying.

What am I just saying?  I guess I didn't clarify there did I?  Well if you were to look at these pictures...here...you're not looking are you?  You're still here, looking at me as if I have some form of legitimate thing to say against the fine people of Kelloggs...well I don't.  They make a very fine product, and have done so now for at least sixty years now.  So back off man, I won't do it.  Let's talk about something else here..seriously.  You're getting way to close man...you're a woman...well maybe we should talk about shaving once and a while.  Okay, maybe we shouldn't, but can you at least floss?  It's really not so bad you know..

Unless it's candy floss, better known as "cotton candy".  That stuff has got to be bad...it's just sugar magically whipped into a fluffy cloud that's raining teeth decay and a case of type two diabetes.  I still don't understand how the blue and pink somehow taste slightly different.  Isn't it just a case of red food coloring versus blue?  How can a puff of colored sugar hold any sway over anyone?  Why do I have a mad craving for the stuff now?  I'm not pregnant am I?  I shouldn't be...of course not, I'm on the pill.  Wait, no I'm not...of course...that's cause I'm a man.  How silly would that be?  Me, giving birth.   That would be very silly, if silly was an acceptable word to use.

Silly...why am I using this?  I'm embarrassed for myself and the three or four people that actually come out this way to read what I'm writing.  Silly's really not a good word to be using anywhere, unless the word string comes right after.  Man that stuff is wicked, even if it is tricky to get out of the lawn.  Good thing I don't own any lawn; I actually don't own any property at all now that I think of it.  That's somewhat sad...I guess I should get working on trading this half-pack of Halls cough drops so I can work my way up to a house in Saskatoon.

I hear its nice there.  Cold, but nice.
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