Full Credits

Stats & Data

November 24, 2009



> Two antennas met on a roof, fell in love and got married. The ceremony
> wasn't much, but the reception was excellent.
> A jumper cable walks into a bar. The bartender says, "I'll serve you,
but don't start anything."
> Two peanuts walk into a bar, and one was a salted.
> A dyslexic man walks into a bra.
> A man walks into a bar with a slab of asphalt under his arm and says:
"A beer please, and one for the road."
> Two cannibals are eating a clown. One says to the other: "Does this
taste funny to you?"
> Patient: "I can't stop singing 'The Green, Green Grass of Home.'"
> Doctor: "That sounds like Tom Jones Syndrome."
> Patient: "Is it common?"
> Doctor: "Well, "It's Not Unusual."
> Two cows are standing next to each other in a field.
> Daisy says to Dolly, "I was artificially inseminated this morning."
> "I don't believe you," says Dolly.
> "It's true, no bull!" exclaims Daisy.
> An invisible man marries an invisible woman. The kids were nothing to
look at either.
> Deja Moo: The feeling that you've heard this bull before.
> I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day but I couldn't
find any.
> I went to a seafood disco last week . . and pulled a mussel.
> What do you call a fish with no eyes? A fsh.
> Two fish swim into a concrete wall. The one turns to the other and
says "Dam!"
> Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly, so they lit a fire in the
> craft. Unsurprisingly it sank, proving once again that you can't have your
kayak and heat it too.
> A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and were standing in
the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. After about an
hour,the manager came out of the office and asked them to disperse.
> "But why?" , they asked, as they moved off.
> "Because", he said, "I can't stand chess-nuts boasting in an open
> A woman has twins and gives them up for adoption. One of them goes to
a family in Egypt and is named "Ahmal." The other goes to a family in
Spain; they name him "Juan." Years later, Juan sends a picture of himself to
his birth mother. Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that
she wishes she also had a picture of Ahmal. Her husband responds, "They're
 twins! If you've seen Juan, you've seen Ahmal."
> Mahatma Gandhi, as you know, walked barefoot most of the time, which
> produced an impressive set of calluses on his feet. He also ate very
> little, which made him rather frail and with his odd diet, he suffered from
bad breath. This made him . . . (Oh, man, this is so bad, it's good) . . .
A super calloused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis.