Full Credits

Stats & Data

May 30, 2013

Joining the ranks of Chipotle, Subway, and others, Washington Square Park Drug Dealers will now accept NYU Campus Cash.

NEW YORK CITY -- Washington Square Park Drug Dealers announced Wednesday that they will now accept NYU Campus Cash as a suitable form of payment. “Smoke. Smoke. Bud. Bud. Campus Cash,” a Washington Square Park Dealer announced in an official statement. NYU President, John Sexton, belives that the partnership with the WSP drug dealers will lead to a safer and more convenient way for NYU students to purchase drugs. Parents who deposit money into their son/daughter's Campus Cash account, will take solace knowing that their offspring will be able to easily purchase drug in the park, rather than obtaining them through sketchier means. CVS, which for years has held a monopoly over the Campus Cash drug market, is weary of its new competitor. While other Campus Cash merchants, such as Q’doba and Chiptole, stand to benefit from the new arrangement, anticipating that many students with the “munchies” will head to their establishments to spend Campus Cash. At press time, it was unclear whether NYU's Campus Cash Program would partner with the NYU student selling air-powered guns out of his dorm room.