A tweet by any other name would still be just 140 characters.
Maybe you have it bad but consider living with the last name Youngman at any point since the song YMCA was released— Siobhan Thompson (@vornietom) January 13, 2017
"What's your name?"— Bea_ker (@bea_ker) August 5, 2015
"No, your surname"
"No, your SECOND name"
*counts on fingers* Keith
I'm tired of folks sayin' my people have ridiculous names. Anyway I'm off to my niece's birthday party. Can't believe Pistachia's 5 already!— George Wallace (@MrGeorgeWallace) August 18, 2016
Who's your favorite celeb with a last name that sounds like a cuss word but isn't mine is laura dern— jon (@senderblock23) March 11, 2017
Wonder how long it'll take for my pregnant friend to realize that the list of baby name ideas I'm giving her are all just types of lettuce?— Valerie (@ValeeGrrl) May 3, 2017
"I'm bad with names" really just means "I'm good with not giving a shit about other people."— Amir Blumenfeld (@jakeandamir) July 20, 2016
That being said, I'm bad with names.
Most people who say "I'm bad with names" mean they can't remember them. But I'm bad with names in another way. Anyway, meet my son Whoreface— It's Abby. Yep. (@abbycohenwl) June 9, 2017
People forget John Glenn was also the first American to take two first names into space.— Sean Thomason (@TheThomason) December 8, 2016
“My name? I’m known by many names.” I begin my flirtation with a whiff of mystery, but it’s pretty much just the one name.— Annie Hatfield (@HatfieldAnne) June 15, 2017
I choose my kids' names based on the popular trends of the day. Like with my daughter "Shakira" and my new son "Killing Cops."— Frank Whitehouse (@WheelTod) July 20, 2016
Celebrity divorce statements only remind us of the names they gave their kids "We will focus on raising our kids, Valtrex and Turbo Pickle."— Jenny Johnson (@JennyJohnsonHi5) May 19, 2016
Your serial killer name is your first name + your middle name + your last name— Kashana (@kashanacauley) April 7, 2017
Anderson Cooper has two first names AND two last names— Elle Oh Hell (@ElleOhHell) February 14, 2017
Raul is one of those names where every letter sounds like it's trying to be in charge.— Bread Savage (@papasuncle) May 27, 2017
Life is a slow process of having your favorite names ruined by meeting the people who have them.— Elizabeth Hackett (@LizHackett) December 21, 2016
Him: You're on Twitter too much.— OhNoSheTwitnt (@OhNoSheTwitnt) May 10, 2017
Me: Fine, let's talk about baby names. What do you think of Actually for a boy and Don't@Me for a girl?
whenever i introduce two ppl and i don't know one of their names i just yell "LINE!" everyone laughs and all is forgiven— julio torres ~* (@juliothesquare) March 28, 2017
Billy the Kid: The Guy with Two Goat Names— Ramsey Ess (@RamseyEss) May 9, 2017
If "Candy" can be a legitimate first name, why not "Snacks?" Like, it's short for Snacksdace.— Paul F. Tompkins (@PFTompkins) May 28, 2017
Ke$ha was a time traveler from a future where kids' names must contain a capital letter, a number, and a symbol. She was one of the rebels.— the garbage shit boy (@davedittell) May 19, 2016
Activia and Gogurt should’ve swapped names years ago.— Tim Duffy™ (@TimDuffy) June 14, 2017
everyone i ever dated is impressed when i namedrop foreign authors but never bothers to check if they're just ikea product names (they are)— demi adejuyigbe (@electrolemon) September 15, 2016
ME: God, what's with all the weird names people give their kids these days? Why would you name your son five a.m.?— rachelle mandik (@rachelle_mandik) September 26, 2016
HIM: You mean Sam?