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May 09, 2012

Last night I was banned from the forums on Cracked.com for pointing out that the moderators there are hypocrites and condescending assholes. If you are a reader or contributor to this site than you should read this so you can see what a bunch of jerks the administrators are, and get an idea how things are run behind the scenes.

UPDATE:  My fiance has also posted her account of what went down.  I suggest you check it out http://t.co/plqBY00i


Below is my full letter to Jason Pargin a.k.a. David Wong, Senior Editor at Cracked.  Included are all the typos and bad grammar from my original email, as well as all the posts from the moderators and myself that have since been deleted.


ATTN David Wong/Jason Pargin

I attempted to contact you first through the message board but I am now banned I can't compose messages so I am trying to reach you here.  I am not sure if you saw the kerfuffle that went down on the Cracked boards tonight; so I will briefly summarize what happened...

In the the discussion thread "Canada Robocall Scandal" I (username:keller) had been in what I guess was a somewhat heated discussion about our politics up here in the North, which my fiance (username:voicefarm) later stumbled over and thinking i was being ganged up on, decided to join in to defend me...  Why? Because she's a nice girl and she didn't like seeing people take the piss out of her boyfriend.  I am not sure if that part of the discussion has survived on the board but essentially what went down was this...  My girlfriend made a comment to someone to the effect of, "Oh, I wasn't aware that your journalism major meant anything" to which one of your moderators (Mortal Wombat) made this reply...

"Yeah, voicefarm, just take some time to read around the forums and get the vibe here before posting further.  It's understandably tricky at first, as this is different from many (most?) internet forums where I guess debate is about snarky "gotchas", but nobody will look down on you for taking some time to lurk, read around and adjust, most people have to."

This is where I returned to the thread; because I was pissed off by the pretentiousness and hypocrisy of Mortal Wombat.  In my view, besides being just patronizing and condescending, it was(and still is)more snarky and 'gotcha' than anything in my girlfriends post - and Wombat is the one who's supposed to be enforcing the rules?  I'm sorry but I know a double standard when I see one, and that was a bunch of bullshit.  My reply was this:

"Adjust to what, exactly?  Do you mean agreeing with the elites who have more posts/karma, or else keeping your mouth shut?  Because that's what it sounds like to me; and if if that's the case than perhaps this just isn't something that I want to be a part of."

Obviously this was meant to be inflammatory, but honestly don't feel bad now after what happened next. Her reply was:

"No, silly, have you read around the forum at all?  We don't have rules about what people's positions can be, just about how they express it.  When people argue we want them to at least be honest and straightforward and whatever, not like making personal attacks and flaming and misquoting people left and right, where the person who wins is the person who "laid down the biggest burn" on someone else and not the person who backed up their point best with logic or evidence or whatever.

If you really want to do the flamewars and the gotchas and all that, that's cool, but probably best to do so in another community where that is the norm."

First of all, I don't think I need to tell you how condescending this sounds.  Second of all, if this is true than you are all hypocrites.  I have only been browsing your forum sporadically for the past year and a half and I've seen countless posts on your forum where staff and contributors to Cracked(including yourself) have ganged up on new users and made fun of them.  If anyone is being too snarky on the Cracked message boards; it is your staff who are the most guilty.  My reply (since deleted) was the following:


Here we have a bunch of Cracked contributors - (including Wombat and David Wong) - participating in a thread where a girl gets repeatedly mocked for asking the admins to delete her account. I don't see anyone there being warned or having their posts deleted..."

Here we see the double standard in action.  Don't play dumb here.  I think you are an intelligent enough person to be able to see that I have a point.  Really, what was the justification for hounding that girl?  What the fuck did she ever do to you? Don't you have anything better to do?  How do you think she felt when she looked at that? The amount of mean, passive-aggressive stuff in that thread is really obvious and also really awful if you ask me.  I think that just about any decent person would agree that you guys look as bad as all the shitty people you make fun of on your site.  

Anyways, at this point I thought my posts were being deleted; which is not an unreasonable conclusion when they keep disappearing seconds after you reply.  I continued to repost it, and it disappeared another three times until another moderator named "Cat" PM'ed me and informed me that they were not deleted but were instead being moved to the Hall of Bad Posts.  My response was thus:

"oh, thanks that's such a big difference"

So off I went to the hall of bad posts, and upon realizing that I couldn't reply to the thread that was created to try and humiliate me(he/she had renamed it "Keller gets cyberbullied by boardies")... I sent a second message.

"is there some reason why i can't post a reply in the thread? i see no reply button there.

also: i really appreciated what you named the thread. very classy. :roll eyes:"

In response I got this rude reply:

"Glad you liked it.

Also, you can't reply because it's locked."

After seeing the entire thing get taken down a few moments later I responded:

"oh, it looks like i've been banned and you've decided to take all the posts down. big surprise there.

if your staff had any class they could have handled this much better. the fact that you have to rename the post that, put it into the hall of bad posts and then ban me before I can state my side of the story says a lot to me about how Cracked is really run. seriously, if that's not an example of bullying behavior than I really don't know what the fuck is. you should be ashamed of yourselves.

p.s. if you really want to get rid of something that makes you look bad why don't you get rid of thread that i posted a link to while you're at it."

I received no replies from "Cat" after this which is why I decided to try and contact you and see if you would respond to it.  So, I'd like to take this moment to ask you: What do you think about it, David Wong Senior Editor at Cracked?  What do you have to say for yourself and the other members of your message board when you look at that shit?  If you have anything at all to say than I'd like to hear it.  

Until then..  Fuck you, Jason Pargin, fuck especially your phony-ass David Wong persona, fuck your whole site if that's the type of assholes who run it.  I think you are a snake and a fucking piece of shit and I also think that you despise your own audience and exploit their creative abilities so that you can make money off of their work.  It's no wonder that you don't want to use your real name.  I don't see how anyone could be very proud of what you do.


Jonathan Keller

p.s. You can only pretend to be one of US for so long before you're found out.  We both know that you are THEM. Someday those kids are going to realize that they've been had; and the backlash is going to hit you like a fucking hurricane. Expect it.