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Published August 05, 2008 The Crypt More Info »
0 Funny Votes
1 Die Votes
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Published August 05, 2008

I live in Los Angeles. I spend a lot of time in my car.


I

Say you’re driving on the 105.
Now, think about this:  you have a baby just so you can drive in the car pool lane.
It may not be a good idea, right?  Think about the amount of time you’re driving and then weigh that with the amount of time you need to take care of the baby and then decide if it’s worth it.
However, you might be surprised with your answer when you’re on the 105 at 5pm on a Friday afternoon.
Plus babies are cute and they do sleep a lot.

II

You know who I hate? The asshole who doesn't use his turning signal.
What are you doing in the car that you don't have time to signal, asshole? What kind of self-absorbed dick doesn't have TIME to use his turning signal??
Right now- take two of your left fingers and flick them. You’ve just signaled.  The car manufacturer made it easy! ‘Cause I could understand, "I'd use my turning signal but it's in the trunk."  That I could understand. I wouldn't use mine either. But FLICKING YOUR FINGERS!  Come on, lazy. It's rude, just plain rude, you have no manners.
It's all about communication penis-face and you failed to communicate to me, once again, by not signaling, by not telling me where you were going.
I had no idea what you were doing, as usual!! You don’t talk to me, tell me where you’re going, who you’re with, when you’re going to be home!!
I hate you.

III

Why do you have a menagerie of plush collectables in your back window?  You know what grandpa? Take that collection out of there, (now you can see the cars behind you, what a novel idea!)  and put them back on your granddaughters bed where they belong. Freak.


Peace & love,
xo
t


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