Celebrities See All

Close

Quick Links

or
3 Funny Votes
1 Die Votes
80 Views
Published May 10, 2014

Sketch Writer: Kelly Brotman

Date:May 3rd, 2014

Sketch Number: 9

 

Wendy Freshner’s Summer Jobs

Job Title: Second Hand Clothing store worker.  

 

 

Characters:

 

Wendy Freshner: The new employee of Downies’s Second Hand Clothing Store. 

 

Canada O’Jeffe: Candy is Wendy’s coworker.

 

Nurse Obama:  Is running away from the law.  

 

EXT: Downies’s Second Hand Clothing Store. 

 

INT: Downies’ Second Hand Clothing Store

(Wendy, Candy, Nurse Obama)

 

Wendy and Candy are busy folding clothes up to be put on the shelves.  

 

Candy

So my ex boyfriend, Trey, who is such a dick-head was making out with the Quezno girl right in front of me! I so want revenge girl! 

 

Wendy

Which Quezno? Some of them are horny half the time.

 

Candy 

The crazy one.

 

Wendy

Need to be more specific than that.

 

Candy

Girl, you know who I am talking about. The one who is after the bad boy older geezers. 

 

Wendy

Ah, Carmen. Man she is like the sanest one of the bunch. 

 

Candy

I know, right? Take last month when I went to her Dad’s place for a marijuana burger, he actually gave me a regular burger can you believe it?!

 

Wendy is cut off.

Nurse Obama enters the scene. 

 

Nurse Obama is wearing a heavy trench coat and is wearing heavy sunglasses. She has a bunch of bags filled with clothes. 

 

Wendy

Hi, can I help you?

 

Nurse Obama

Yes, I want to exchange my old nurse uniforms for cash?

 

Candy

We do not sell any uniforms, you would have to give them away to the hospital.

 

Nurse Obama

(Coughs) I can not return to the hospital, a patience filed a restraining order on me.  

 

Wendy

Wait a minute, I recognize that scowl anywhere. Nurse Obama why are you in disguise?

 

Nurse Obama

You work here now? What, this makes your ninth job in two months? Boy, you must be flaky.

 

Candy

Who are you calling flaky you dumb bitch?! How can a nurse have a restraining order?

 

Nurse Obama

By cutting off my ex husbands junk that’s how!  

 

Candy

You did that?! How awesome are you!

 

Wendy

(Under her breath) Oh God, their are two of them!

 

Candy

What was that, new employee Wendy Freshner?

 

Wendy

Nothing. So i take from your outfit that you’re in hiding?

 

Nurse Obama

Mmm hmm, no thanks to you  I am now on the run from the law.  

 

Wendy

Not my problem that you went down the psychopath highway. 

 

Nurse Obama

I would not be down this road if you had done my favor.

 

Wendy

And end up in jail? I do not think so.

 

Candy

How can you turn down an offer that was made to you by someone who is related to our president?

 

Nurse Obama gets out a gun she had in her pocket.

 

Nurse Obama

(Yelling) I am not fucking related to the president! If i hear that one more time i swear I’ll pull the trigger.

 

Candy

Hey lady, chill! I just assumed. Besides I am a republican. 

 

Nurse Obama

Huh, guess I do not have to kill you then.  I am one myself. 

 

Wendy picks up the phone.

Wendy

I am about to dial nine one one, if you do not leave immediately.

 

Nurse Obama looks around frantically. 

Nurse Obama

Her Mom was half naked at a Justin Timberlake concert!

 

Nurse Obama  quickly leaves the scene. 

 

Candy

Your Mom sounds so rad! That  lady you know is awesome. Man, you hang out with the coolest people.  

 

Wendy

(Shocked) She cut off her ex’s ding dong.

 

Candy.

That is what makes her awesome!

 

Wendy

Am I the only sane person out there?

 

End of sketch. 

 

Advertisement
Advertisement

From Around the Web

More