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Published November 14, 2008

(Washington, D.C.) Soon to be ex-President Bush held a press conference today denying that he initially supported a fake “New York Times” story declaring the Iraq War to be over because he was pulling out U.S. forces.  “Let me just say that unlike others I have run against I was always against this fake pullout before I supported it. Wait, no. What I meant to say was that I’m for our men and women in the armed forces to be brought home but not on a fake time table before fake victory…or something like that but real not fake.”

The press conference was a reaction to a fake “New York Times” paper published by the liberal group Yes Men. Over one million copies were distributed nationally through a volunteer network. The “paper” took eight months to plan and had stories allegedly contributed by three dozen writers, some from major metropolitan dailies.

It seems that while he was in New York City, where many of the fake newspapers were distributed, for the re-dedication of the aircraft carrier Intrepid, soon to be ex-President Bush came across the “paper”. John Searle, a Waldorf-Astoria doorman, was approached by soon to be ex-President Bush with the paper tucked under his arm. Searle recounted the story for a Reuters’ interview. “He said to me, ‘Jim’, though I told him my name was John, ‘Joseph, take a look at this headline. Let’s see them give me a seventy-six percent disapproval rating now. Like Nathan Chamberlain, I have brought you peace in my time.’” The moment would have gone unnoticed except for the next turn. “The President then said to me ‘Jacob, this is a Kodak moment.” Soon to be ex-President Bush asked Searle to take a picture. However, Searle went a step further, making a video on his cell phone and posting it on YouTube.

When asked by the press if he believed the story to be false, why did he make a video holding up the “paper” shouting “Up yours, Obama,” soon to be ex-President Bush was direct. “Have you ever heard of that technique where you say one thing but mean another. It’s called satire. I was being satritierical.” A follow-up question was then asked. Was the soon to be ex-President being “satritierical” when he again mentioned it during a CNN interview? “You folks are being way too liberal, and no I don’t mean literal. Do you think I wouldn’t remember giving an order to pull all U.S. forces out of Iraq? I may be stupid, but I’m not crazy. No, wait. I don’t mean stupid. I mean…how about that Sarah Palin? Now there’s something I wouldn’t pull out of.”

Sarah Palin was reserving comment until someone explained to her what the metaphor meant.

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