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November 04, 2016
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Why just be traditional when you could say "on fleekness and in health"?

“Our love is like a strong wall built and paid for by Mexico.”


“On fleekness and in health.”


(Leans in during wife’s vows) “Wrong.”


“I hope we’ll never get a Divorce, now on HBO and HBO Go.”


“I will take this nasty woman to be my lawfully wedded deplorable.”


“Till a random act of gun violence do us part.”


“I promise to accept the results of these wedding vows.”


“Black wives matter.”


“Nate Silver forecasts a long and happy marriage.”


[Reads Michelle Obama’s wedding vows word for word]

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