Life can feel like an uppercut from an anvil, so here’s some silliness to soothe your soul.
*If you have tweets you love (I’ll credit you) please send them my way @GlazerBooHooHoo!
Shout out to the man in the audience for Dunkirk who turned to his girlfriend + said "Dunkirk" when the word 'Dunkirk' came up on screen.— Ben Peter Griffin (@GameGriffin) July 23, 2017
Hope you are all having the Best Summer.— Michael Caine (@themichaelcaine) July 26, 2017
This says glitter, but it doesn’t.
Are dog catching nets real or just lies taught to us by Big Cartoon— madds (@whatmaddness) July 25, 2017
I'm so excited to finally learn his last name. pic.twitter.com/5KEpejfs7W— Brian Lynch (@BrianLynch) July 24, 2017
Pt 1 - uh oh
The AP has deleted a tweet about a giraffe being born because it included a photo of the wrong giraffe. A new tweet is upcoming.— AP West Region (@APWestRegion) July 26, 2017
Pt 2 - phew
Now that's a big baby! A 2-week old standing 6 feet tall has made its debut at the Los Angeles Zoo https://t.co/HRugrRIAst— AP West Region (@APWestRegion) July 26, 2017
[inventing tupperware]— schmox (@IvoryGazelle) July 25, 2017
make it with a material that never lets them forget that one time they made spaghetti
On a road trip with a bf gf couple and if they call each other babe one more time I will grab the wheel and crash us— Luke Schwartz (@LukeDoesStuff) July 21, 2017
PRODUCER: Kevin can you please just write "monsters growling"— Cameron Suey (@josefkstories) July 23, 2017
SUBTITLE WRITER: how dare you stand between me and my art, you damn philistine pic.twitter.com/YblxPksaaq
Idea for ppl of New York who grow herbs outside the apartment: put a sign on your house that says "I like dog piss pasta"— Amy Miller (@amymiller) July 24, 2017
if you've ever gotten an email from me longer than 2 sentences please know I worked on it for 3 hours— Karen Kilgariff (@KarenKilgariff) July 26, 2017
Wife had a bunch of rum drinks tonight and we somehow ended up at Target pic.twitter.com/kM0OxcA7No— Bottlerocket (@bottlerocket) July 26, 2017
The ONLY reason I still use Facebook is to follow the guy I went to high school with who got divorced and now ends every post with #elevate.— Alison Leiby (@AlisonLeiby) July 25, 2017
when u haven't had sex in awhile & ur ugly friend starting to look a lil less ugly pic.twitter.com/y5xYGxHtur— 44 Savage (@thenudequeen) July 26, 2017
I've had Decpacito stuck in my head since birth— Kate Berlant (@kateberlant) July 26, 2017
*hires sky writer* I'M GIVING YOU THE SILENT TREATMENT— Sarah (@thetigersez) July 26, 2017
yall macauley culkin out here, cleaned up, lookin like a gotdam long lost hanson brotherpic.twitter.com/so5v1uOqZA— erikah (@scarIetoak) July 26, 2017
Ahamed is a kind person and great comic. Enjoy his late night debut!
I think my Uber driver is in trouble pic.twitter.com/GxIsapbzyO— decent pigeon (@decentbirthday) July 25, 2017