So I was perusing my spam emails the other day and amidst the ones titled "Enlarge your member" or "Naked teens wet hot meat cam" I saw one that caught me off guard. You get so many about all the same shit, so they're usually pretty easy to overlook. But one of them in particular took me by surprise. It was only three words. But it was the most horrifying combination of any three words that I had ever seen. So much so that I couldn't even bring myself to click on it. It said:
"Extreme cat rape."
WHAT IN THE BLUE FUCK IS "EXTREME CAT RAPE?" I can't even begin to fathom. Here's the thing that got me the most. I think it would have been completely sufficient to just write "cat rape" and call it a day. Cat rape itself seems 'extreme' enough for most people, don't you think? Who out there, after hearing about or even witnessing the rape of a cat, would be like "You know, that was pretty decent cat rape, but is there anything you could do to make it more extreme?"
Why would you need to state that it's extreme? Why!? Did they do some marketing research and find that people just weren't clicking enough on "Cat rape?" So they thought "You know what I bet it is? I bet that the majority of people out there feel like forced sex with a cat just isn't enough. Let's make it more brutal. More extreme if you will." That's the only explanation.
And if you happen to be one of those people that feel the word "extreme" should ever precede the words "cat rape" then maybe you and I shouldn't talk again. Ever. About anything. Sick bitch.