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The 2014 Pro Bowl comes complete with new rules in attempt to revamp what's often a little-watched, little-cared-about game. But have they gone far enough? Here are 48 more suggestions :

  • Eddie Van Halen shreds a wicked guitar solo after every field goal
  • Kickers do “dizzy bat” before kicking extra point
  • Instead of instant replays, just show clips from Seinfeld
  • 10 points for career-ending injuries
  • Opposing team can challenge a touchdown with a dance-off
  • Donovan McNabb’s mom serves piping hot Campbell soup on the sidelines
  • One lucky fan gets to play on the offensive line of his/her choice
  • 3 words: skimpy little shorts
  • Debut new dance, “The Pro Bowl Shuffle”
  • Beyonce plays quarterback for both teams
  • Fake beards
  • Cover players in steaks and release a bunch of vultures
  • Hire a few people to go have sex out there
  • Replace refs with whistle-holding orangutans
  • Try it with no cups this year
  • Each play introduced by Tom Bergeron
  • Captains choose their teams then spend rest of time making fun of players picked last (fans can join in via twitter)
  • Place creepy spikes in the end zone
  • Call it “Saved by the Bowl: Hawaiian Style”
  • Checkers Rules: Each time a TD is scored, player says “King Me” and is given second helmet and can play both ways
  • Fill stands with cardboard cutouts of Pamela Anderson and Boba Fett
  • Cover field in plastic tarp and douse players in massage oil
  • Let a few of the guys use Segways. Why not?
  • Turn out all the lights during 4th quarter for "Cosmic Pro Bowling"
  • All players wear capes
  • Field is 30 feet long, 15 feet deep, has diving board. You know what, it’s just a pool
  • 3rd down now known as “Party Down”
  • I dunno, something where a bunch of golfballs are taped together
  • Puppy Pro Bowl - not sure what that means but people will be into it
  • Instead of a coin toss, make it a kitten toss (especially if going with Puppy Pro Bowl angle)
  • TWO footballs
  • Players who drop out are forced to watch the Pro Bowl like the rest of us
  • Instead of tackle, how about two-hand tickle?
  • Coaches are just horses wearing headsets
  • Instead of a football, use a football-shaped disco ball
  • Dress all the coaches in hula skirts (remember, they are horses now)
  • Throw a couple mummies out there and watch them get tromped upon
  • Turn up the tunes
  • Cover players in glue and have them play until they are stuck together in big ball
  • Have OJ Simpson captain a third, “bad guy” team that the two other teams must band together in order to defeat
  • Cheerleaders cheer in Portuguese
  • Players actually try
  • A few guys wear scuba masks and flippers, and we all have a bit of a laugh about that
  • Go double or nothing on entire second game
  • Aerosmith plays at halftime - not music, football
  • Losing team has to sexually pleasure FOX Robots while Terry Bradshaw dances
  • 2nd quarter is just a picnic at the beach because these guys are in Hawaii and deserve some relaxation
  • Replace whole thing with clips from Seinfeld, no one will complain

 

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