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Published January 24, 2014 More Info »
The 2014 Pro Bowl comes complete with new rules in attempt to revamp what's often a little-watched, little-cared-about game. But have they gone far enough? Here are 48 more suggestions : Eddie Van Halen shreds a wicked guitar solo after every field goal Kickers do “dizzy bat” before kicking extra point Instead of instant replays, just show clips from Seinfeld 10 points for career-ending injuries Opposing team can challenge a touchdown with a dance-off Donovan McNabb’s mom serves piping hot Campbell soup on the sidelines One lucky fan gets to play on the offensive line of his/her choice 3 words: skimpy little shorts Debut new dance, “The Pro Bowl Shuffle” Beyonce plays quarterback for both teams Fake beards Cover players in steaks and release a bunch of vultures Hire a few people to go have sex out there Replace refs with whistle-holding orangutans Try it with no cups this year Each play introduced by Tom Bergeron Captains choose their teams then spend rest of time making fun of players picked last (fans can join in via twitter) Place creepy spikes in the end zone Call it “Saved by the Bowl: Hawaiian Style” Checkers Rules: Each time a TD is scored, player says “King Me” and is given second helmet and can play both ways Fill stands with cardboard cutouts of Pamela Anderson and Boba Fett Cover field in plastic tarp and douse players in massage oil Let a few of the guys use Segways. Why not? Turn out all the lights during 4th quarter for "Cosmic Pro Bowling" All players wear capes Field is 30 feet long, 15 feet deep, has diving board. You know what, it’s just a pool 3rd down now known as “Party Down” I dunno, something where a bunch of golfballs are taped together Puppy Pro Bowl - not sure what that means but people will be into it Instead of a coin toss, make it a kitten toss (especially if going with Puppy Pro Bowl angle) TWO footballs Players who drop out are forced to watch the Pro Bowl like the rest of us Instead of tackle, how about two-hand tickle? Coaches are just horses wearing headsets Instead of a football, use a football-shaped disco ball Dress all the coaches in hula skirts (remember, they are horses now) Throw a couple mummies out there and watch them get tromped upon Turn up the tunes Cover players in glue and have them play until they are stuck together in big ball Have OJ Simpson captain a third, “bad guy” team that the two other teams must band together in order to defeat Cheerleaders cheer in Portuguese Players actually try A few guys wear scuba masks and flippers, and we all have a bit of a laugh about that Go double or nothing on entire second game Aerosmith plays at halftime - not music, football Losing team has to sexually pleasure FOX Robots while Terry Bradshaw dances 2nd quarter is just a picnic at the beach because these guys are in Hawaii and deserve some relaxation Replace whole thing with clips from Seinfeld, no one will complain  
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