Full Credits

Written by: Chad Larsen

Stats & Data

March 15, 2012

The big bug sunglasses. The gaudy handbags. The bulky boots made out of the family dog. What is going on with teenage girls today?

The big bug sunglasses.  The gaudy handbags.  The bulky boots made out of the family dog.  What is going on with teenage girls today?  Now let me get this out of the way before we go any further.  I am on the wrong end of my twenties and do not spend my free time on a bench at the mall eyeing up the JV dance team, but I do notice people and the one group of people that seem to stick out like the zits they couldn’t cover up with Joan Rivers’ plastic surgeon are teenage girls.

Clearly, the presence of Snooki and the Kardashian monsters in our lives has had a drastic effect on the clothing and general communication skills of the female adolescent.  Their voices have become more nasal.  Their skin tone is Cheeto.  Their speech uses the word “like” the same way a writer uses the space bar.  Arguably the two most famous females in today’s teenage world are famous for…for…uh…what are they famous for?  Neither Snooki nor Kim has accomplished anything substantial in their lives.  Snooki gets drunk and fights.  Kim goes out to eat, fakes marriages for money and gets paid to go to parties.

Anyone who has been to college knows that you find out who you really are and what you are really interested in after high school when you are forced to make your own decisions and not follow trends to fit in.  Those who understand that Kim and Snooki are merely a form of entertainment and not the template by which they should live their life, will succeed.  Those who think they can ditch class to go to an open casting call for “Survivor: Detroit”, major in “Texting” and minor in “Reality Television” will fail.

OMG like, good luck.  LOL.