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February 17, 2013

We ask the artist everything there is to know. From how many licks it takes to get to a fig newton that is wrapped inside of a lollipop that is wrapped inside of a celebrity's skirt that is wrapped inside of an old oyster shell that is wrapped inside of John Flannigan's mittens, to what is the meaning of life while your tripping peyote

Q: If you could go on a man date with Jack Black, what would you do all day?  A: Well, it would start off with a little hankey pankey. We would probably watch cum omlette girl, and then we would probably jerk each other off while watching videos from 3dwerewolfporn.com. While wearing pirate hats. While gazing at a Danny McBride poster on the wall. Q: If you could milk an oyster onto any one person's face in the world, who would you choose? A: Hm...thats a though one. Can my answer result in a tie? Q: Yes, your answer can result in a tie. A: James Franco and the girl from cake farts Q: Why are you so in love with Taylor Swift? A: Cuz she's the best. Duh. Q: Do you plan on getting married to her? A: Man, the rich marry the rich, I know how this shit goes. I'm most likely going to marry a brunette with big titties. Q: Should all drugs be legalized? A: People are too dumb for all drugs to be legalized. Overdoses fucking hurt. H-U-R-T. Trust me, I know. Plus you've got all these shiesty little motherfuckers sprinkling shit on peoples stuff and giving people rat poison instead of cocaine. Hell, one of my buddies used to sell crushed up altoids to those dumb little fuckers. Maybe we just need a government that we can trust 100% and have them regulate the good stuff. Q: Do you own anal beads? A: Yes, three. Q: Has your father ever had to try to insert medicine up your anal cavity? A: That was a long time ago, fucker. Good god almight man, have you no limits?! Q: Why do you keep showing your cock and balls and your bum bum over the internet? A: Cuz thats what the ladies want to see. If Bret Favre does it, its a green light in my books Q: Why has Ben Roethlisberger been playing like a bitch tard? A: I'm a fucking steelers fan, you tell me. His career was the equivalent of him coming out swinging and then deciding it was all about the bitches....I mean ALL about the bitches. Like, a little too passionately all about the bitches. Calm down, Ben, Calm down. If you need to let out your sexual aggression, we've always got 3dwerewolfporn Q: Why did you rip off Eastbound and Down in line 1 of your masterpiece "Theres A Snake In My Boot" A: Well first of all I ripped of Pixar with the name of the story. To answer your question, because it was a good fucking line, and because I'm a well placed scientific seed spawn of Kenny Powers and Hank Moody Q: What is the maxiumum number of anal beads you've inserted into your poop shoot? A: Ahahahahaha, i'm sorry, i'm sorry, that just reminded me of Jay And Silent Bob Strike Back for a minute. I don't know, 11? 12? Q: Have you really put globs of nose goo into the eggnogg of Taylor Swift haters? A: No comment Q: Have you ever created your own sex move? A: Yes, its called giving a girl a shiny george washington Q: Why does Andy Samberg keep inviting you to Skype with him, while the two of you pluck feathers from the buttocks of a peacock and feed each other Moxie popsicles? A: Cuz he heard I can fit 12 or some-odd anal beads up my keister, and, like paris hilton, acknowledges the fact that "thats hot" Q: If you could fuck Jack Black in the face with a strap-on dildo, would you? A: I'd rather film Suzie Carina do it for me Q: Out of all the pornstars in the world, why Suzie Carina? A: Cuz she was the only one cool enough to follow me back on twitter Q: If you could eat carrots out of rashida jones's vagina, while taylor swift spit in your mouth, will arnett lathered himself in the corner with vaseline while dressed up as macgyver, kim catrall took 6 dicks at once like the ginormous slut that she is, kristen wiig did lines of pixie dust off of your back, and will ferrel touched tips with you (in a finger trap of course), would you do it? A: That finger trap better not be fucking metal. I just finished watching The Sweetest Thing. If I see a black cat tonight.....fuck....I own one. Sketch bro. Super fucking sketch. Q: What is the best idea for a SNL sketch.....ever. A: One themed around The Anal Tweezing Bandits, of course. Q: What is the most kinky thing you saw on the internet that was kinda-sorta-gross but also rad at the same time. A: Oh man, I've got a thing for fucking after the facial. Like, when a girl has the man seed of 7 dudes on her face, just like, dangling there, and I'm still in the race fucking her after I've already jizzed on her face....fuck....I mean, I'm getting kind of hard right now just thinking about it.