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“Powers Play” with Coach Powers Arbuckle: College Football Week 1

LAST SEASON RECAP AND LOOKING AHEAD

Hello, Gentlemen, coach Powers Arbuckle here. Alas, the NCAA has finally pulled the plug on the BCS. Let me be the first to welcome you into the golden age of the College Football Playoff. We certainly have a rich field of contenders. Florida State is loaded, if you’re expecting a crustacean joke here you can pinch yourself…They have two back-up quarterbacks starting for other teams. One of which is a juggernaut Alabama squad. Nick Saban doesn’t even lose hair. The man doesn’t age. Oregon will beat themselves but look great doing it. Auburn, I’m still not convinced Nick Marshal would hit water if he fell out of a boat. Oklahoma’s back right? Big game Bob? I mean, they did have one good win so why not plug them into contention for the playoff? The Michigan State Spartans? Sure, I liked 300 so why not? They only lost most of their “No Fly Zone” secondary. Everyone seems to be big on UCLA. There’s a school that’s played a lot of meaningful games in it’s long standing tradition…of basketball. Let’s not get ahead of ourselves. There are a lot of rungs on the ladder and the first step is week one. There’s some money to be made, it’s just waiting for you to take it.

WEEK 1 POWERS PLAY

This week’s Powers Play is Penn State (+2) vs. UCF. Last year, the Golden Knights marched right into Happy Valley and jousted a victory under the reign of pride of Oviedo quarterback, Blake Bortles. Bortles and leading rusher, Storm Johnson, are cashing checks in the NFL but UCF still has some talent on both sides of the ball. The Penn State roster has been ravaged and is leaner than a “hold the mayo” turkey sandwich on whole wheat. They have a new coach, James Franklin, whose honkey-tonk’ing style upgraded him from the music city to valley that is happy. Hackenburg, maybe the funnest name to say in the Big 10. The Nittany Lions are a two point dog against Central Florida but here’s the clincher: give me the healthy Penn State first teamers vs. The healthy UCF first teamers. This game is being played in Ireland and George O’Leary was fired from the Fighting Irish before he could say shillelagh for fudging his resume. Karma takes over here and look for Penn State to take down that Knight’s defense like Atilla the Hun through the Western Roman Empire. Penn State +2 is this week’s Powers Play!

BONUS PLAYS

Believe it or not, FSU will be better this year than last. Assuming their second team (and future NFL'ers) defense doesn’t crumble under the pressure of garbage time, they will cover the 17.5 spread in Jerry’s world. FSU -17.5. Another safe bet is Georgia -7 over Clemson between the hedges. They may have lost Aaron Murray to his bombshell girlfriend (wait, I mean graduation…yeah, graduation) but this team is still solid (like Aaron Murray’s girlfriend). Todd Gurly will prove he’s anything but as he rams it down the throat of every team they face.

Oh and here’s Aaron Murray’s girlfriend. Poor guy, he could still be not getting paid to play football…

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RECAP

  • Penn State (+2) vs. Central Florida
  • Florida State (-17.5) over Oklahoma State
  • Georgia (-7) over Clemson

GAME I’M STAYING AWAY FROM

LSU (-5) vs. Wisconsin. I like LSU to win this game and probably by more than five but both teams have a lot of questions marks. The game is being played indoors and LSU can fly but don’t put it past Wisconsin to muscle up and ram the ball down the Bayou Bengals' throats all day (aka Wisconsin football). If you MUST bet on this game, take the points.

JUST FOR FUN

Navy (+16.5) vs. Ohio State because who DOESN’T like to pull against Urban Meyer?

Agree/Disagree? Tweet me at @NikolasHolmes

And don’t forget to watch “How to Break Up With Your Girlfriend Before Football Season” on YouTube. There is still time to do the deed, don’t let all of the good ideas get taken!

Powers Arbuckle signing off…

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