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October 10, 2010

So I just have a few thoughts on online dating. The whole concept is very strange to me, regardless of the fact of whether or not I partake in it.

First of all - everyone is there for the same reason: to find a significant other. So you go through the obligatory trolling and checking out photos, what they're interested in, what kind of activities they enjoy, what they do for a living, etc. In a way, this takes away from the enjoyable part of actually getting to know someone. The mystery is somewhat gone.

So let's say you find someone you like - you message them or email them, whatever your preference is. Obviously, you are letting them know you're interested -- which is way different than exchanging "fuck me eyes" from across the bar. Here online, you're essentially putting yourself out there - no games played.

However, because it's in our innate character TO play these "games" - regardless of the fact that you've just showed your interest and perhaps they reciprocated - the games will still be played. But why is my question? It's utterly ridiculous.

I recently read an article in COSMPOLITAN that talked about how people who haven't yet met each other, but know about each other and are about to go out USED to get their information from mutual friends. "Tell me about Zlata...what is she like?" Well, nowadays, these future dinner partners are apparently googling the shit out of you, checking your Facebook and MySpace for more intel. Now, I don't know about you - but when you google my name, a lot of stuff comes up - and I believe the first one is an article I wrote back in college (for a school assignment, no less) about how one can contract an STD from oral sex. If I'm being judged on that, Lord knows if I'll ever get a date!

I just think online dating puts you out on a vulnerable pedestal and should put behind all the games - it opens the door for managing expectations right from the start which is good for some people, bad for others. For me, I like the spontenaiety and adrenal rush from meeting new men, figuring out plans and going day by day to see what it will (or will not) evolve into. Then again, if I were to go into stalk mode (as COSMO says everyone does) and google these men -- will I still want to go out with them if I don't like what I see?