Full Credits

Stats & Data

May 11, 2011

Sue me? Sue you!

Navy officials have suspended recent guidance that would have allowed chaplains to perform weddings for same-sex couples at on-base facilities.

The sailor from the Village People has called this a travesty of justice and is demanding Ted Haggard return his anchor-themed thong.


A Puerto Rican man was arrested by federal agents, 25 years after robbing $7 million from a Wells Fargo Depot in Connecticut.

    In related news, there was actually a puerto rican man in Connecticut in 1986!

Lady Gaga has teamed up with social gaming giant Zynga to promote and celebrate her new album Born This Way ahead of its May 23 launch. This will allow people to interact with a Lady Gaga-inspired farm in the Zynga game FarmVille.

    Who knew that “born this way” referred to being born a capitalist bovine? Bovine I say. Now we know why she came out in that egg. It's from her damn farm.

Lindsay Lohan will officially plead no contest to misdemeanor theft tomorrow -- TMZ has learned -- but Lindsay won't be showing up in court.

    Who shows up for a misdemeanor theft case anyway? Winona Ryder you say.


More than 23000 people will soon be notified by their internet service providers that their subscriber information is being turned over to lawyers suing over illegal downloading of the 2010 Sylvester Stallone flick The Expendables.


There is no way 23000 people watched this movie in its entirety. They should be sued based on the minutes watched. In which case Sly Stallone will only owe them $23000. This movie was so bad Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skulls met up with Breakin II Electric Boogaloo to celebrate their slide from the Top 10 movies that induce suicide.