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November 21, 2016
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Ho-ho-ho! I am really in the Christmas spirit because I am the president-elect of the effen USA! So I thought I would lead the country in a Christmas carol.

Donald Trump Leads a Christmas Carol

Ho-Ho-Ho!
2016 has been a very special year for me –
I can tell you – very special.
In addition to being elected president –
which is big league
this year Jesus’ birthday falls on Christmas day!
Very special, very special. Very rare occurrence.
So wish me luck for the coming year because you are going to need it!
And this year I am again wishing for a very white Christmas for everyone.
So how about a Christmas Carol?”

Did You Hear What I Said?
(to the tune of Do You Hear What I Hear?)

Said the orange man wearing the red hat,
Did you hear what I said?
All his followers wear the same red hat,
Did you hear what I said?
A wall, a wall, or maybe just a fence,
Can’t impeach me or you will get Mike Pence.
Can’t impeach me or you will get Mike Pence.

Said the rich man on the fancy bus,
Did you hear what I said?
Said to Bill-y on the fancy bus,
Did you hear what I said?
A kiss, a kiss, or maybe just a goose,
Hope no one sees this as abuse.
Hope no one sees this as abuse.

China China China China China,
Did you hear what I said?
China China China China China,
Did you hear what I said?
Great Wall, Great Wall, China’s wall is great,
We will build one with mortar and hate,
We will build one with mortar and hate.

Stop and frisk anyone who isn’t white,
Did you hear what I said?
Screen immigrants unless they are white,
Did you hear what I said?
A wall, a wall, to keep out bad hombres,
And I don’t like the Muslims or gays,
And I don’t like the Muslims or gays.

The country was shocked by the results.
Did you hear what they said?
Wolf Blitz-er was shocked by the results.
Did you hear what he said?
He won. He won. Trump is president.
This will lead to great discontent,
This will lead to great dis-con-tent.

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