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March 21, 2016
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In this new series, we take a look back at everything that pissed off Calvin so much he felt like it need to be pissed on.

Most people know Calvin as a wildly imaginative six-year-old boy who, along with his ol’ pal Hobbes, explores broad philosophical questions while sledding down a hill. Of course, if you’ve ever seen a pick-up truck, you know there’s also mischievous, unlicensed side of Calvin that loves peeing on the things that get him down.

In this new series, we take a look back at everything that pissed off Calvin so much he felt like it needed to be pissed on.


Michigan State

March Madness brackets were busted across the nation when the No. 2 seed Michigan State was trounced by the 15th-seeded Blue Raiders out of Middle Tennessee. Despite not being one of the four No. 1 seeds, Michigan was still picked to win the whole tournament on more than 22% of all brackets on ESPN.com. And yes, you could argue that since an upset like that hurts everyone, it actually hurts no one. Tell that to Calvin, who separately dropped a couple hundo on the Spartans to claim victory. Piss on you, State.

Calvin Michigan State.jpg

Donald Trump’s “Celebrity” Endorsements

Here’s a quick list of Donald Trump’s recent “celebrity” endorsements: Scott Baio, Aaron Carter, Mike Ditka, Tila Tequila, Stephen Baldwin, Dennis Rodman, Ted Nugent … Do we need to go on?

Seriously, every day it just gets harder and harder to believe that Trump’s entire campaign didn’t already air on VH1 in 2004.

Calvin Trump.jpg

Britain’s Natural Environment Research Council

Shackleton. Endeavour. Falcon. These are just a few of the top contenders in NERC’s online campaign to name the UK’s new state-of-the-art £200M Polar research ship. Cool names, right?

So what has Calvin so upset? Well … that’s because none of those names are as good as what’s actually winning, which is BOATY McBOATFACE, which if you ask us, is maybe the best name for anything ever. But, OF COURSE, the folks at NERC are doing everything they can to make sure that Boaty McBoatface doesn’t actually win, because, as they say, who really wants ship with that name?

The answer: EVERYONE. Here’s your piss, NERC.

Calvin Boaty McBoatface.jpg

Peach

Peach launched in January as yet another way to “keep up with friends and be yourself.” If you’re not familiar with this uber-app, try to think of it as Twitter meets Facebook meets Instagram meets Giphy meets Ello meets MySpace meets Pong meets … you get the idea.

And that’s just the problem. Peach has no fucking clue what it is or wants to be. We gave it a shot, we made tons of friends, our friends left, and then so did we. Sorry, Peach, but you suck now.

Calvin Peach NEW.jpg

Hulk Hogan v. Gawker

Let’s face it, in the case of Hulk Hogan v. Gawker and the unfortunate series of images it forces us all to conjure up in our minds, no on, I repeat NO ONE, wins.

Unless, of course, you want to count the $115 million the jury awarded Hulk Hogan. In that case, Hulk Hogan is definitely the winner.

Calvin Hulk Hogan.jpg
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