Additional Credits
Additional Credits:, Dylan Rhymer’s live stand-up comedy special
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Published November 16, 2012

(GALWAY) - Irish Catholics are deeply distraught, shocked and saddened by the tragic death of a 4-month old fetus after a woman who was denied an abortion died in hospital. They’re not yet sure whether they are also sad for the mother too.

The fetus was transported to hospital in the uterus of some woman or other who had whined about severe abdominal and lower-back pains. Catholic doctors fought valiantly for the life of the fetus even in the wake of the woman’s selfish and ghoulish pleas to abort the blessed child, which the resolute Catholic doctors scolded the woman for having even considered.

Said Bishop Ryan O’Riordan; “It’s a shame that a wee babby like tha’ died. That slapper should have taken better care if her uterus. That way she wouldn’t be burnin’ in hell right now.”

Said Father Patrick Byrne; “It’s always a great tragedy when a precious little fetus dies inside some broad. What’s even sadder is that a perfectly good uterus died that could have easily made another dozen Catholics.”

Irish Catholic politicians have called an emergency meeting of Irish Parliament to pass immediate legislation making it illegal to have a miscarriage while in Ireland under punishment of stoning.

There will be a vigil held for the fetus which will be attended by Pope Benedict XVI. The Catholic doctors have misplaced the corpse of the mother, but believe it to have been taken out with this morning’s trash.

Dylan Rhymer’s live stand-up comedy special