In a recent interview with Esquire Magazine Keith Richards described the iconic Beatles album Sgt. Pepper’s Lonely Hearts Club Band, as a “mish mash of rubbish.” Funny Or Die recently got our hands on an extended version of the interview in which Richards offered up his opinions on various other classics. Here are a few excerpts (please imagine all quotes as spoken aloud by a sleepy drunk pirate):
Richards on “Beethoven’s 5th Symphony”
This symphony is just … is just … a steaming heap of rubbish. Pshhhh … Beethoven was a self-absorbed deaf wanker who wouldn’t know a good symphony if it hit him in his tiny shriveled pecker. Bugger!
On Citizen Kane
Are you kidding me? More like Citizen Kan I Stop Watching This Garbage Pile Of A Movie! This twit Orson Welles wasn’t batting on a full wicket when he made this turd bucket. Boring from start to finish. And NO color. Bollocks!
More like a cheap, flat calzone knock-off if you ask me! Whatever lazy Italian ninny invented this grub should be hauled to the stocks and forced to listen to Sgt. Peppers on repeat! Blimey!
On The Big Dipper
You call this a constellation? The grey-bearded twit “God" had seven stars and infinite power and wisdom and all he could think of to make was a bloody spoon? Are you kidding me? The Stones could have made a better constellation with three stars in our prime. Arse!
On Ronda Rousey
This overrated trollop has only won 11 of her 12 fights in the first round and only three by knockout! What’s the big hullabaloo? How can she be great if she hasn’t killed a single opponent? Malarkey!
On Eating A Nice Meal With Old Friends
Boo! boo! Piss off with this overrated horse shit! Bloody hell!
Too tall and jagged! Pure filth!
My feet hurt! Two thumbs down! Fish and chips!
Other than the fact that it made myself and the Stones possible, what a load of flim flam! British!