Full Credits

Stats & Data

September 05, 2008


When I was a kid, adults used to bore me to tears
with their tedious diatribes about how hard things were when they were
growing up; what with walking twenty five miles to school every morning
... uphill both ways
yadda, yadda, yadda.

And I remember promising myself
that when I grew up,
there was no way in hell I was going to lay a bunch
of crap like that on kids about how hard I had it and how easy they've
got it.
But now that I'm over the ripe old age of thirty, I
can't help but look around and notice the youth of today.

You've got it
so easy ... I mean, compared to my childhood, you live in a damn Utopia.

I do really hate to say it but you kids today you don't know how good you've
got it. I mean, when I was a kid we didn't have The
Internet. If we wanted to know something, we had to go to the damn library and look it up ourselves, in
the card catalog.

There was no email - we had to
actually write somebody a letter with a pen.
Then you had to walk all the way across the street and
put it in the mailbox and it would take like a week
to get there.

 There were no MP3's or Napsters.

You wanted to steal music, you had to
hitchhike to the damn record store and shoplift it
yourself. Or you had to wait around all day to tape it off the radio and the
DJ'd usually talk  over the beginning and @*% it all up.

We didn't have fancy crap like Call Waiting. If you
were on the phone and somebody else called they got a busy signal, that's
And we didn't have fancy Caller I D Boxes
either. When the phone rang, you
had no idea who it was.
It could be your school,
your mom, your boss, your bookie, your drug dealer, a collections agent, you
just didn't know.
You had to pick it up and take your chances, mister.
We didn't have any fancy Sony Playstation video
games with high-resolution 3-D graphics. We had the Atari 2600. With games like Space Invaders and Asteroids. Your guy was a little square.

You actually had to use your imagination.
And there were no multiple levels or
screens, it was just one screen forever. And you could never win.

The game just kept getting harder
and harder and faster and faster until you died.

Just like LIFE.

When you went to the movie theater there no such
thing as stadium seating. All the seats were the same height.
If a tall guy or some old broad with a
hat sat in front of you and you couldn't see, you
were just screwed.

 Sure, we had cable television, but back then that
was only like 15 channels and there was no on screen menu and no remote
control. You had to use a little book called a TV Guide to find out what was

You were screwed when it came to channel surfing.
You had to get off your ass and walk over to  the
 TV to change the channel and there was no Cartoon
Network either.

You  could only get cartoons on Saturday mornings.

Do you hear what I'm saying!?! We had to wait ALL WEEK for cartoons, you spoiled little rat-bastards!

 And we didn't have microwaves, if we wanted to heat
something up we had to use the stove or go build a frigging fire ...
imagine that! If we wanted popcorn, we had to use that stupid Jiffy Pop thing
and shake it over the stove forever like an idiot.

That's exactly what I'm talking about! You kids
today have got it too easy.

You're spoiled.

You guys wouldn't have lasted five
minutes back in 1980.


 The over 30 Crowd