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Published July 07, 2014

A gushy reporter told Phil Mickelson, “You are spectacular; your name is synonymous with the game of golf. You really know your way around the course.

What’s your secret?”

Mickelson replied, “The holes are numbered.”

___________________________

A young man and a priest are playing together. At a short par-3 the priest asks, “What are you going to use on this hole, my son?”

The young man says, “An 8-iron, father. How about you?”

The priest says, “I’m going to hit a soft seven and pray.”

The young man hits his 8-iron and puts the ball on the green.

The priest tops his 7-iron and dribbles the ball out a few yards.

The young man says, “I don’t know about you, father, but in my church, when we pray, we keep our head down.”

___________________________

Police are called to an apartment and find a woman holding a bloody 3-iron standing over a lifeless man.

The detective asks, “Ma'am, is that your husband?”

“Yes” says the woman.

“Did you hit him with that golf club?” “Yes, yes, I did.”

The woman begins to sob, drops the club, and puts her hands on her face.

“How many times did you hit him?”

“I don’t know – put me down for a five.”

___________________________

A golfer teed up his ball on the first tee, took a mighty swing and hit his ball into a clump of trees. He found his ball and saw an opening between 2 trees he thought he could hit through.

Taking out his 3-wood, he took a mighty swing. The ball hit a tree, bounced back, hit him in the forehead and killed him.

As he approached the gates of Heaven, St. Peter asked, “Are you a good golfer?”

The man replied: “Got here in two, didn’t I?

___________________________

The bride was escorted down the aisle and when she reached the altar, the groom was standing there with his golf bag and clubs at his side.

She said: "What are your golf clubs doing here?”

He looked her right in the eye and said, “This isn’t going to take all

day, is it?”

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