In an interview with CNN this past weekend, former Republican vice-presidential nominee and Alaskan governor Sarah Palin complimented Jeb Bush for being bilingual, but then went on to say that everyone in the U.S. should “speak American.” In honor of International Literacy Day, which is today, Sarah Palin has released a letter where she explains why everyone should “speak American” instead of other languages.
Hey! Hey! Hey! Look here at me face. Me Sarah Pales. Hello! Nize to see you again! Me lady who see Russia from houz! Remember?
I have advize for all you peoplez in US. You speak American. Do it! It really best ideaz ever. Speak American like me Sarah Pales!
See, you speak American like me do, you do gud in life. Me get A++ in skool. Me vice-prezident of werld almost! And also almost prezident of werld if me friend old man M.C. Cain had diedz. Kool! I exzample for how to do gud. What iz popular saying? Follow the lead? Yes! Follow the lead! Me Sarah Pales iz lead. You follow me Sarah Pales.
Listin immigrantz! If you speak Mexicanz or France, you no gud. You bad, in fact. You probably get M- grade on life test. M- iz better grade than Y+ score, but still bad. Iz alfabet letterz! But when you speak American, you best in livez, best in werld, best in Alazka (this hard). In fact, you best in all placez not Alazka, which not so many placez because Alazka big and also bearz! — but still. Do you know me Sarah Pales iz friend with Alazka bearz?
JeBush, he thinkz he so smart becuz he have so smart brother (he me favorit) and also he speak Mexicanz plus American. But better to concintra … concyntra … focuz on 1 languidge. Speak American, the mostest bestest one. And then become best master speaker and understanderer and write also. Me also read American so gud.
How me learn American? Gud quez-chion! Me Sarah Pales read all newzpaper all morningz. It gud way to learn American. It learn you many thingz like my best friend Trumpman prezident runz and Popeman say hi to America and also learn American. You do this and me garantee you speak American in very fast timez.
Also practize American by go on Tv showz and give the most speeeechez. It make you better 110% at speak American like me so gud! Also why not becuz Tv iz fun and people at Fox Newz say “you so smart Sarah Pales and us like you!”
In concluzin, you speak American on literacy day. What this “literacy” word mean? Me Sarah Pales no know and also no know how to look up. Oh well!
Me also uze this chance to say me make gud energee secretary for best friend Trumpman. Vote for me Sarah Pales in elec-shion for energee secretary and me do gud job! Sarah Pales 2015!