El Chapo has been CHAPTURED, y'all! If you think for one second I didn’t have that little pun sitting in my back pocked the last few months, you are 100% loco! But El Chapo has indeed been captured and the authorities are being v cryptic about it and also probably have a close watch on all motorcycle dealerships in the area.
The president of Mexico, Enrique Peña Nieto, tweeted the following:
Misión cumplida: lo tenemos. Quiero informar a los mexicanos que Joaquín Guzmán Loera ha sido detenido.— Enrique Peña Nieto (@EPN) January 8, 2016
And for all y'all dummies who don’t know Spanish, this translates to, “Mission accomplished: We have him. I want to inform the Mexicans that Joaquin Guzman Loera has been detained.”
Booyah! This is great! Let’s take this as a win for America! We know it doesn’t have anything to do with America, but we love catching the bad guys and we love having to do very little work. It’s the perfect combination.
Let’s put behind us the horrendous things some of our politicians have said about the wonderful people of Mexico and in the meantime rob our southern neighbor of a major accomplishment and call it our own! In fact, what is more American than that?
It’s a great day for America, the American people, and the countries we call neighbors. Congrats us, and you’re welcome, Mexico.