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Eat. Sleep. Freedom fries. Other stuff. 2003 was a far superior year to be a teenage girl than the late 1990s. Here's a typical day in the life of a teenage girl in early 2003.

1. Wake up to your radio alarm clock, tuned to KISS-FM, playing Justin Timberlake's "Rock Your Body."

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His break-up with Britney Spears was so sad! Though now he's single…

2. Take a shower and wash yourself with your new Bath & Body Works products.

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Finally use that Bat Mitzvah gift certificate.

3. Put on your Juicy Velour tracksuit and Ugg boots.

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Like wearing blankets and slippers to school!

4. Kiss your poster of Smallville's Tom Welling.

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HUNKS.

5. Don't forget your SARS mask!

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Duh.

6. …or your new 3rd generation iPod!

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All your music in one place.

7. …or your new cell phone!

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For calling hunks.

8. The first thing you say to your friends at school isn't "Hello"…

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It's, "Ohmygawd, did you hear Clay Aiken on last night's American Idol?/That's so raven!/[cough]"

9. Pictures of Ross/Rachel or Chandler/Monica (never both) adorn your locker.

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Pick a side before the finale!

10. Sneak a peak at your Hotmail inbox on your computer lab's Compaq Presario.

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Subject: "Fwd: Fwd: Fwd: Fwd: HOW TO AVOID SARS, READ IMMEDIATELY"

11. No more fast food for lunch—everything's organic now!

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Though you can probably snag a few "freedom fries"!

12. Go to dance practice after school.

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Dreams.

13. Ride the bus home and avoid all physical contact for fear of contracting SARS.

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14. Open your mailbox when you get home.

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Who's on the cover this week?!

15. After finishing your homework, call your friends and talk about what might be in Harry Potter And The Order Of The Phoenix.

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A chance to use your new cell phone!

16. Fall asleep under the SARS.

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Do it all again tomorrow.

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